Dissapointed in Tasty Yogurt

I thought I had discovered a new favorite item at my local Chicago
grocery store. The Jewel brand pineapple lowfat yogurt was making its
way into my shopping cart on a regular basis. Its yummy. Tastes like
candy. So today as I was having candy flavor lowfat yogurt, I
wondered... maybe it IS candy? So I looked at the label and sure
enough, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 42 from sugar. Eww, no wonder my
teeth hurt. Now I haven't been watching those things lately, but as
some of you know, The Atkins Diet, which happens to be my diet of choice
when I go for one, only allows 20 grams of carbs in your WHOLE DAY. 47
is A LOT for one little cup of yogurt! The "bad for you" ice cream I
buy has half that.

Therefore, I think it's time to go back to having ice cream for
breakfast.

- Megan

The moment has passed

So while I was lounging on the couch feeling the breeze and listening to
The Beta Band in perfect bliss, apparently my other roomate Lois was in
the kitchen cooking up a present for me.

Lois doesn't like me. When we met, she was totally cool. Let me pet
her, licked my face, etc. But when I got here last night she wouldn't
stop barking. Every time I entered the room or even looked at her the
wrong way, she'd make a big stink about it.

Within 5 minutes of getting all my stuff into my room last night she
staged a protest by peeing in the direct center of my bedroom carpet.
So I kept my door shut from that point on. I understand that I'm
invading her territory, but I'm paying rent! I'm assuming more than
her, that four legged freeloader!

Apparently when I sat on the couch next to her to enjoy the music, I
infringed on her personal space. She retaliated by taking two dumps in
the kitchen each the size of her head AND created a puddle of urine the
size of Lake Michigan that had trickled under the cabinets.

ALL I DID WAS SIT IN HER CHAIR! Crazy psycho roomate!

This means war, BITCH!

- Megan

So Happy I'm Crying

And yes it IS that time of the month but I don't care what you think.

This is my home.

I live HERE.

<HAPPY SIGH>

I'm home alone in my real apartment for the first time. My new roomate
Sarah said I could feel free to use her stereo and CDs. She's got the
place wired perfectly with speakers on their own shelves. So I went to
look at her wall of CDs and vinyl and the first thing I found was The
Three EPs by The Beta Band. I put it on and Dry The Rain came on and
filled this entire plush BEATUFULLY ARTISTIC apartment in CHICAGO! MY
APARTMENT.

I can't believe I really live here.
- Megan

Miles Stroth and Dan Bakkedahl

So after turning around and shushing Amy Pohler and Rachel Dratch, cause
they wouldn't shut up, I went downstairs to see Dan's last show before
that Daily Show thing starts up.

Then I went back upstairs because I couldn't find my jacket and I ran
into Mo again and took a pic of her holding my sign. Then I got my pic
taken with "The Ladies Man" himself, Tim Meadows. I used a real camera
for those so you'll have to wait till the weekend is over before I can
share.

I really wanted to meet Andy Richter, but I didn't see him anywhere and
he seemed really drunk during the show anyway. Andy Dick got shoved
into me when someone was trying to rough him up. It was scary. He's
pretty freaky looking up close.
- Megan

Geekin out on improv

The whole shebang, Andy Richter, Tim Meadows

Susan Messing and Andy Dick

Success!

I got in! And I got to hang out with Mo Collins from Mad TV while she
had a cigarrette.
- Megan

A Plan SO Crazy... It just might work.

When there were tickets I had no money, now that I have some money,
there are no tickets. So what's a girl to do?

From the Chicago Reader:

Improv is a spectator sport. Its excitement lies in seeing whether
skilled players fumble or score as they toss comic ideas back and forth
in intricate patterns. The unique energy generated by loopy,
free-associative long-form improvisations is palpable in close quarters,
with the performers just a few feet from the audience. That should be
apparent Friday when celebrity alumni of ImprovOlympic (recently renamed
I.O. in deference to the U.S. Olympic Committee’s proprietary
pressure) drop in to jam at the company’s intimate Wrigleyville home
as a warm-up for Saturday’s sold-out ImprovOlympic’s 25th
Anniversary Reunion Show at the Chicago Theatre. Friday at 9, Andy Dick
and Susan Messing team up in Messing With A. Dick, a set of two-person
scenes based on audience suggestions. At 10:30 there’s a special
edition of The Armando Diaz Theatrical Experience and Hootenanny in
which Dick, Rachel Dratch, Horatio Sanz, Andy Richter, Neil Flynn, and
the Upright Citizens Brigade create spontaneous scenes based on a single
monologue by one of the cast. At midnight, Dan Bakkedahl (soon leaving
town to join The Daily Show) and Miles Stroth team up for Zumpf! All
these shows elevate process over product, demonstrating that
unpredictability is the essence of the fun. Fri 8/26, I.O., 3541 N.
Clark, 773-880-0199. $15 per show. —Albert Williams

Doggie Beach

Since I couldn't sleep this morning I went to the beach. I decided to
try Montrose Beach for the first time since it's closer to Z's place.
Its pretty deserted. There were just a few couples making out and an ice
cream stand. Nothin like getting to the beach at 10am for some nookie
and ice cream!

So I went for a walk up the shore. And this is what I found! Dogs!
Around 50 of them were splashing in the water and playing in the sand.
They looked SO happy! Someday I'd like to either have a dog, or be a
dog. I think I'd be a golden lab. Or maybe a Cocker Spaniel.

Oooh lookatemgo! Awesome!

Ok Audience participation time... If you were a dog, what kind would you
be? AND As a dogs, would you go swimming with me at the dog park?
- Megan

I'm melting!

I have this big beautiful bed all to myself all week, and I can't
friggin sleep past 8am because of the sun! The curtains are awesome,
and they helped a little, so the past couple mornings it was only 90
degrees when the sun came up, instead of 100. I think I got a sunburn.
- Megan

The Dans

I realised after reviewing my blog, that I have used the name "Dan" in
abundance lately. The casual passerby might assume they are all the
same guy, and might also assume there's a little somethin goin on
because I sure spend a lot of time with this dude. You go ahead and
think whatever you want.

But seriously, I've known several Dans in my life, three of which I've
hung out with in Chicago.

First there is Big Gay Dan (who is actually now considered Skinny Gay
Dan) who went to GMU. He's a party fiend who can dance all night. He
is my gateway into the seedy underword of gayboy Chicago. Gay Dan is so
pretty, and he knows it.

Next there was Dan from California in my class at IO. He's a friggin
genious. The only thing he doesn't know is how hot he is and that's
part of his charm. His family lives near DC and we were in a show
together at the DC Improv back in the day.

The other Chicago Dan is Dan Bakkedahl. I've been a fan of his improv
since my trip here last summer. A few weeks ago he got hired as a
correspondent on The Daily Show.

Then there's also the Band of Dans who used to perform with They Might
Be Giants. I think they are now down to two Dans.

There was a Dan in my class in highschool who whenever my older brother
saw him in the hallway Aidan would say, "Heeey Dan" to which Dan would
reply, "Aidan!" (Say it out loud, it might be funnier)

I'm sure there have been other Dans in my past but I've posted so much
in the past 24 hours, your heads are probably spinning.

The Daily Show, with Dan Bakkedahl

Taken with a "night vision" camera...

Jaquie took this pick of me and Dan last week sometime. As you can see from the expression on my face, he's one of the coolest guys I've ever met. He and Jaquie and I hung out for a while at the bar at I.O. His first day at HIS new job should be sometime this week. Check him out.

Just another manic Meegday

FYI - The Follow the Fear post was made in reference to me succeeding in crossing off the numero uno scary thing on my list of things I wanted to do but was too scared. Its very liberating. Del was a wise man. "Follow the fear" and "never be afraid to look like an idiot." -Dan Bakkedahl

But enough about that...

So I moved most of my stuff over to Z's last night. I'm staying there this week for several reasons: my new apartment isn't ready, Z is out of town (as you may recall he went home without me), he has a king-size bed and I have an airmattress - you do the math, and besides that my roomate at my old apartment asked if her parents could sleep in my room when they come visit this week. This way I get out on a high note, and I get out of cleaning the bathroom... or so I thought!

So it was basically my first night in a new apartment. I was so exhausted from getting my stuff over to the apartment and up four flights of stairs by myself that I went straight to sleep, not caring where anything was or what I was to wear to my interview at 11am the next day.

I got woken up by the sudden jump in room temperature from a comfy 68 degrees or so to friggin 100 or more. I felt like an ant under a microscope. I don't know if Z is too cheap or too much of a boy to invest in curtains, but if I'm staying there until Saturday, something's gotta be done about that. And don't get me started on the bathroom... oi... For those of you who question Z's orientation, ladies and gentlemen of the jury I give you exhibit A...hard evidence... No gay man could survive under these conditions. Case closed.

So I foraged through the remnants of groceries I brought from the old place and tried to make ramen in the microwave. The glass turntable thingy was missing so I set the bowl of water and noodles in between the rotating arms in the base of the microwave, thinking the bowl was heavy enough to fend for itself.

So I was wrong. The microwave made an awful noise and before I could find the stop button I heard a loud clunk. By the time I managed to get the door open there was a pool of water and bits of ramen all in and under the microwave. sigh.

Now you might say...eh...just leave it. And I might say the same...except that Z has three female roomates who I hadn't met yet and the rest of the apartment is relatively clean so I didnt want to make a first impression with a slowly evaporating puddle of crusty ramen noodles. It took a while to sop that up, and as I finished I heard my phone buzzing so I looked and it said "Interview 10:15" Wha? Crapface! Ratfarts! shit!

Since it was about 9:30 and I knew El Train would take at least a half hour I shifted into high gear and took the quickest shower ever (ew, not a problem). "Where the hell is everything?!?!?" My clothes were in various states of cleanliness in my two suitcases, and hell if I know what I did with my makeup! Around 9:50 I double checked my calendar and I had written really tiny "(10:30)" oh I'm so smart and sneaky! I have an extra 15 minutes! So I finally get it together, strap on my backpack, pause in front of the mirror for a final check and CRAPFACE! RATFARTS! SHIT! there is a huge stain, front and center on my shirt! What the hell am I going to wear?!?! I managed to uncover the wrinkliest yet cleanest shirt, and resigned myself to splurging on a cab.

So I got to my interview just barely on time and looked down at my shirt to find a few little black spots where there had been none before. crapface! ratfarts! shi..eh I didn't really want to work at Starbucks. To a lesser extent, some of my older friends might compare me working at Starbucks to my friend GD joining the marines. Would you sell your adolescent principles for some health insurance?

So after a less than exciting interview I headed over to the Salvation Army to find some damn curtains or reasonable curtain imitations. Then I spent the next 2 hours doing laundry for myself and girlifying Z's domain. Soap scum be gone! Don't worry, I didn't do anything drastic, I'm definitely taking the awesome curtains I made with me when I go to my real apartment on Saturday. I swear the pink potpouri was there when I got there. (Your Honor, I move that the last statement be stricken from the record!)

So I got my clothes out of the dryer just in time to speed racer cycle past the Cubs traffic to get to work at precisely 3:30. There was a customer waiting outside already! oi.

So here I am. Working at a gym has it's perks, but I'm not feeling very perky at the moment. I want my next job to have a naptime.

He ain't called The Guru for nothin.

Del Close said, "Follow the fear." It's good advice not only for
improv, but for life in general. If we face our fears, they lose power
over us. If we confront the people that we are afraid of we discover
that maybe they are equally afraid of us.
- Megan

What are you up to, Sneaky Pete?

A new day

After mucho alcohol and dancing with Dan, Zach is forgiven ...but he's
going to bring me my stereo and CDs from VA when he comes back. I have
my first day of a new session of improv classes today. As Bridget Jones
would say, " V - excited!"

- Megan

Suicidal Squirrel

If you look closely you will see a little tuft of hair hanging from the
phone wire. That is the tail of a squirrel I saw/heard gnawing on the
phone/power lines today. It ran away when I took the picture, maybe my
morbid fascination saved its life?

I know how he feels. I checked the calendar and I'm pretty sure its not
hormones. I'm officially having a crappy day.

It started late last night. I had gone to a show at IO by myself and
during intermission I called Zach to see if he could hang out and asked
him if he'd heard about some plans that were happining monday night. He
declined the monday night plans because he's going back to VA Tuesday
morning. HUH? Wha? Abuh? WAS HE GOING TO TELL ME EVER? ouch. I was
stunned. He had mentioned before that he would probably go over the
weekend next weekend so I had kinda been keeping next weekend open. I
made a commitment to work all this week AND I have two big interviews on
Thursday (the day he is planning on coming back). And I knew all along
that the timing might not work out, but it would've been nice.

I just wanted to sleep in my own bed for one night!

I hung up the phone and this intense wave of homesickness took hold.
The show started back up and I sat there in the back row and cried
silently in the dark while everyone else laughed at the Improv on
stage.

There are so many people I didn't say goodbye to. Some of the friends
that I don't talk to as often don't even know I'm gone. I feel so
trapped here. I miss the freedom of having a car. I miss being able to
listen to my own music (didn't pack my CDs or radio). I miss my
family. I miss my friends.

When that show let out I called my only girl friend in this timezone,
Elise. I must have looked wierd pacing up and down the corner of
Addison and Clark with my eyes all red and mascara running willy nilly.

Then I went in and found Jaquie. It was her last night in town. I was
so glad she was there. She totally cheered me up. We hung out with our
level 5 teacher, Miles, and met some other cool people. But it was
bittersweet, because at the end of the night I said goodbye to her,
possibly forever.

This morning I watched some movies with the roomies, but then the
coolest roomie, Hope, left forever because she goes to lawschool in
Wisconsin and classes start next week. Hope is gone forever. How
metaphorical.

So I got on my bike in a half hearted attempt to make it to this free
yoga class that Mel had tried before she left me forever. I couldn't
remember exactly what block of Clark St it was on and I accidentally
rode past it. I also accidentally rode through a huge patch of broken
glass in the road. I didn't want to walk in late to my first yoga class
so I just kept riding. I decided to ride up to my new neighborhood and
check things out. I figured exploring would make me feel more at home.

Well just when I got nice and far away from my current apartment... I
heard a hissing noise. It took a moment to realise it was coming from
my front tire. Shit.

So I walked my bike a mile and a half to the bike repair place on
Halstead. Softly sobbing to myself.. realising I know how to change a
car tire, but have no clue about how to change a bicycle tire.

And that's when I heard it. The crackly crunching noise. I looked up,
and there he was, a squirrel chewing on a wire. I know how you feel,
buddy. I know how you feel.
- Megan

Next on the John Cusack tour of Chicago

John Cusack was here:

The Music Box Theater

I happened to catch some of High Fidelity on the TeeVee last night. When it got to the part where he starts calling up his ex-girlfriends to find out how he screwed up (the blonde movie critic to be exact), I noticed as they exited the movie theatre... that it's MY movie theatre! Right down the street!! So I took a pic on my way to work for those of you with mouths agape in disbelief.

I've seen two movies there! Actually one and a half. I saw March of the Penguins, and then I started to go see a midnight showing of "Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo" with Jackie and Mel, but when we found out it would cost almost $10 to see it in the tiny 2nd theatre instead of the big screen we decided a rental and a big screen TV would make more sense. And besides, why the heck were we going to pay $10 to see "Breakin 2" anyways? And SOBER at that?

The big theatre is beautiful. It's a lot like the Uptown in D.C. or the Byrd in Richmond.

So ...NOW who's coming to visit me in Chicago? (ahem...Danni?)

- Megan

THE BOOTS HAVE SPOKEN!

..and thus it shall be.

I don't know if its because I'm lazy, or desperate for stability, but
after visiting only 2 potential apartments I have agreed to live with
Sarah.

Meegfans might know her as "pink boots girl" because a couple weeks ago
she gave me a perfectly fitting pair of Steve Madden Iglou Boots in Pink
Suede. After meeting her, checking out the place, and dancing around my
sublet in said boots, I found myself comparing all the other Craigslist
postings to Sarah's. None of them could possibly compare to her crooked
little corner apartment with tons of cool homey stuff, adorable dog,
room with huge windows, and my pink boots. Especially not for the same
price.

So sorry D.C. Meegfans. I have achieved finding a job, finding an
apartment, and making friends. Chicago still doesn't feel like home
yet, but its getting there.

Zach is threatening to make a 48hr trip to VA sometime in the next few
weeks. I might tag along.

- Megan

I just booked an interview with Audience Services at STEPPENWOLF THEATRE!

Never heard of it? Well these guys have:

Rock ON!

Of course I've already been on more than half a dozen interviews and I'm barely working. John, John, Gary... don't tease me. I can't take any more rejection! Especially not from you guys.

Mr. Lonely

I just walked Mel down to the corner to catch a cab. She managed to
pack everything into two duffels, a backpack, and a purse, but they were
very heavy.

Today is the first day I could spend entirely alone. That could be good
or bad. I'm hoping to motivate myself to clean and rearrange "my" room,
but we shall see. I have a craptastic amount of laundry to do.
- Megan

Weirdness

Soon this is all that will be left of my fabulous IO Summer Intensive
Improv friends. Most of our team, "The International O Committee" are
gone already and I'm sad. I'm going to miss you crazy cuddly kids!

I feel like I do everything backwards. When I went to LA I met a bunch
of cool people who live there, but I left them there. In Chicago I met
a bunch of cool people from other places and now they've left me here.
Maybe one of these days I'll get it right.

I was reviewing my posts and checking for comments and I noticed the
most commented on post recently was the picture of a goose at GMU that I
took back in May or June. Y'all are wierd. (Sorry Malsh, that "ei" just
didn't look right)

- Megan

SCIENCE!!

Mel and I travelled to the Museum of Science and Industry today but the
Body World exhibit was sold out. So we rode the escalator for a bit and
bought tickets for tomorrow.

This pic is a view of the ticket line and main lobby.
- Megan

11 Hours

I kept meaning to pause and take it to the laundromat with me, but I
just couldn't put it down. So 11 hours after opening to page one, I
have no clean clothes, and I'm sad about Harry's new lonely existence,
and wondering if Ron and Hermione are official now or what? Will Harry
be able to survive as a highschool dropout/third wheel/revenge hunter?

I knew basically what would happen at the end, but it was really
Hagrid's reaction that made me break down.
- Megan

Urban Adventure Cruise

I'm on a boat ride with my mommy.
- Megan

Pop

I have nothing new to report except that I'm confused by this "POP"
everyone seems to be peddling. I assume its some new low carb snack.
- Megan

Blogging just got easier!

I finally figured out how to send pictures from my sidekick to the
blog. So now get ready for the photoblog revolution! This is a picture
of some of my improv peeps at a free jazz show at Grant Park a few weeks
ago. Mike and Dan are from California, Burgert is from South Africa,
and Ashley is from Taiwan. Follow the link from earlier today to see
more pics of that adventure.
- Megan

Experiment was successful

The bananas were awesome

Testing

This is one of the Mason Pond Geeks. Even though they were ornery, I
miss them.
- Megan

Same Album... new photos!

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=6edps95.72s0kc79&x=0&y=-wshh4d

I put the newest pics at the front. Make sure you click on slideshow to view the 3D Norwegian!

Orgazmic Bananas

I just had the pleasure of introducing Mel to the concept of increasing
the sugar and fat content of seemingly harmless fruits and vegetables
via a chemical reaction I like to call... FRYIN STUFF!

Thus the concept of ORGAZMIC BANANAS was born. We were not able to test
the theory because we only had the one banana and we were licking the
remains off the plate when the idea was born. Bananas were definitely
the most awesome piece of produce that found its way to the skillet
tonight, but how could we explore and heighten this awesomeness? Ice
Cream and Alcohol obviously!

So we decided to go to the store for ice cream and more bananas to go
with the Captain Morgan's (the only ingredient readily available), but
suddenly we both felt really sick and decided it would be best to
continue the experiment tomorrow.

Do you believe in Destiny?

About a year ago I was shopping at DSW and I came upon the cutest pair
of pink suede boots with fuzzy pompoms. I couldn't bring myself to
spend $80 on them so I wrote down the name hoping to see them on sale at
a later date. The were Steve Madden "Iglou" in pink suede.

Time passed...

Twilla and I went shopping after work one day and we spotted the exact
same pair of boots, but with a Parade of Shoes logo on them. We both
tried them on... But neither could afford the boots.

A few weeks later...

Twilla Boo came strutting into work wearing THE pink suede boots!
Apparently she happened to go back to the store with her mom and find
Parade of Shoes having a "going out of business sale". I tried to steal
the boots, but we do not wear the same size. Alas!

Christmas Clearance time...

With Christmas money in hand I was finally ready to purchase the boots.
I scoured the land and the internet trying desperately to locate a pair
of Size 9 Pink Fuzzy Suede Boots. They didn't have to be Steve Madden!
I would've taken an immitation! But unfortunately Madonna had taken a
liking to my boots. Once she was photographed in MY boots, they became
a precious endangered resource.

I was sad...

I would NEVER see my boots again...except on Twilla. Life is so cruel.

I gave up on my boots.

So today I went to see an apartment.

Today I met a girl who could have been my "Sliding Doors" twin. An art
teacher. Living in the city above a store. With a DOG! If she had a
really wacky out there boyfriend with an interesting nose I think I
would've needed medical attention. (She probably wants one)
There were a lot of glaringly obvious problems with the place, but I
felt like I was home and we talked easily for almost an hour.

Then

As I turned to leave

I saw THEM

MY BOOTS

My heart stopped in agony. I let out a sigh and asked, "oh...are those
your boots?" planning to compliment her taste.

She said, "oh that's my pile of stuff for the garage sale. Do you want
them?"

"What?" "I" ...was speachless

"Yeah my friend gave them to me. I love them but I never wear them.
What size are you?"

"A 9, but I hear they run small..."

"Yeah they do. These are 10s. My friend and I are both 10s. That's
why we couldn't wear them. They would probably fit you better."

...and a choir of angels sang...

I felt the sweet soft suede on my arms as I held them close. "You're
shittin me! You have no idea! Are you sure?" I cried out in
disbelief.

"Sure!" she replied. "Whether or not you take the apartment, please
...take the boots."

So now I'm the owner of a pair of perfectly fitting 2004 Steve Madden
Pink Suede Iglou boots!

...and maybe a new friend.

The End.

Haunted by LA

I was at a party last night and when I introduced myself to a group of
strangers, one of them, a girl from another class, grabbed my arm and
asked if I was the Megan who spelled my name Megan but pronounced it
Megan and got annoyed when people pronounced it Megan. I was like,
"Duh" and she said, "D R says Hi" My feature trend* from LA?
Seriously? Who ARE you? Who sent you? Turns out she was at the
Phoenix improv workshop that he taught the weekend after my departure.
She mentioned to him that she was coming to Chicago and yadda yadda
yadda...this is an friggin small world we live in. FYI- She didn't have
any word on Flounder.

*For those of you who are new to the blog, "Feature Trend" is "Teacher
Friend" spelled drunk.

I'd also like to mention that rooftop parties in the city are awesome.
No need to decorate or clean up. As long as you've got the Chicago
skyline and some of J's "party jams", you're all set.

Current Status: I'm still on the hunt for an apartment and a second job
and I think when I was drunk I might have offered to marry a Canadian.
Mazeltov!