Tornado

I was enjoying my typical dinner of ice cream alone on the couch
watching Scrubs, (oh that Zach Braff is so cute and funny) when I heard
a fire truck that wouldn't move. The janitor gets foiled again...
haha... what's up with that fire truck? Maybe its not a fire truck.
Maybe its an alarm. But what for? Jeez it started raining awfully
suddenly. Then from some dusty corner of my brain something whispered
"tornado siren" and I put my shoes on quickly while the rest of my brain
took a second to really let that sink in. My brain caught up while I
was locking the back door and heading down our exterior stairs being
pelted with rain.

My freshly active brain said, "Hold up! Why the hell are you going down
the exterior stairs? There are interior stairs you dumbass!"

"Yes, but they are scary!" my irrational thought retorted and they
started arguing.

"Shut up you guys, this is hard enough!" I yelled as I ran down 4
flights of stairs in 50mph wind gusts, while being pelted with rain so
thick I could hardly see my feet.

"Don't' worry, we're right here!" my feet hollered through the rain as
they jumped up into my view.

"You guys stay on the ground!" I repremanded, but it was too late. I
was already slip-n-sliding down the basement stairs which had by this
time become a lovely cascading waterfall, which poured over me and my
pain, drowning me in an icy, polluted reassurance that no matter what
happens, things can always get worse.

I jumped up and unlocked our scary "Saw" basement and perched,
shivering, on the dryer with my clothes hanging off me like a surprised
cat.

Now what?

Brain was the first one to break the silence. "Good one guys, out of
the 20 people who live in this building, you are the only one down
here. Retard."

Irrational thought once again disagreed. "How do you know? There could
easily be a serial killer or two just around that dark corner."

Eventually, my neighbors came in, with a surprised cat. We hung out for
a while until the worst of it blew over. But when I got back to my
room, my computer, which was by a window, was completely soaked. My
hard drive crashed. I'm sad, and bruised, but I got through the night
without seeing a real tornado.