Suicidal Squirrel

If you look closely you will see a little tuft of hair hanging from the
phone wire. That is the tail of a squirrel I saw/heard gnawing on the
phone/power lines today. It ran away when I took the picture, maybe my
morbid fascination saved its life?

I know how he feels. I checked the calendar and I'm pretty sure its not
hormones. I'm officially having a crappy day.

It started late last night. I had gone to a show at IO by myself and
during intermission I called Zach to see if he could hang out and asked
him if he'd heard about some plans that were happining monday night. He
declined the monday night plans because he's going back to VA Tuesday
morning. HUH? Wha? Abuh? WAS HE GOING TO TELL ME EVER? ouch. I was
stunned. He had mentioned before that he would probably go over the
weekend next weekend so I had kinda been keeping next weekend open. I
made a commitment to work all this week AND I have two big interviews on
Thursday (the day he is planning on coming back). And I knew all along
that the timing might not work out, but it would've been nice.

I just wanted to sleep in my own bed for one night!

I hung up the phone and this intense wave of homesickness took hold.
The show started back up and I sat there in the back row and cried
silently in the dark while everyone else laughed at the Improv on
stage.

There are so many people I didn't say goodbye to. Some of the friends
that I don't talk to as often don't even know I'm gone. I feel so
trapped here. I miss the freedom of having a car. I miss being able to
listen to my own music (didn't pack my CDs or radio). I miss my
family. I miss my friends.

When that show let out I called my only girl friend in this timezone,
Elise. I must have looked wierd pacing up and down the corner of
Addison and Clark with my eyes all red and mascara running willy nilly.

Then I went in and found Jaquie. It was her last night in town. I was
so glad she was there. She totally cheered me up. We hung out with our
level 5 teacher, Miles, and met some other cool people. But it was
bittersweet, because at the end of the night I said goodbye to her,
possibly forever.

This morning I watched some movies with the roomies, but then the
coolest roomie, Hope, left forever because she goes to lawschool in
Wisconsin and classes start next week. Hope is gone forever. How
metaphorical.

So I got on my bike in a half hearted attempt to make it to this free
yoga class that Mel had tried before she left me forever. I couldn't
remember exactly what block of Clark St it was on and I accidentally
rode past it. I also accidentally rode through a huge patch of broken
glass in the road. I didn't want to walk in late to my first yoga class
so I just kept riding. I decided to ride up to my new neighborhood and
check things out. I figured exploring would make me feel more at home.

Well just when I got nice and far away from my current apartment... I
heard a hissing noise. It took a moment to realise it was coming from
my front tire. Shit.

So I walked my bike a mile and a half to the bike repair place on
Halstead. Softly sobbing to myself.. realising I know how to change a
car tire, but have no clue about how to change a bicycle tire.

And that's when I heard it. The crackly crunching noise. I looked up,
and there he was, a squirrel chewing on a wire. I know how you feel,
buddy. I know how you feel.
- Megan