A little peek into what it's like to go off your meds:
Something interesting and noteworthy. Just after that blog about the cricket and how I thought I had been bitten by something, I had a wierd panic attack. I thought I felt poisonous venom shooting up through my leg and into my arm and then my neck got all stiff. So I went looking for benadryl because I figured that would counteract the allergic reaction to the poisonous venom and keep my throat from closing and thus dying.
So I went puttering around the house, and then started searching frantically as I convinced myself that even though it didn't look swollen my foot was definitely numb. So I went upstairs, and of course woke up my mom with all the rummaging for medication. I felt kinda dumb but I told her that I thought I was dying from an insect bite from an invisible insect. So she took my pulse and it was racing. And I showed her my clammy hands. I thought I had a fever but she told me I was cold. I was perspiring between my toes I was so worked up. She asked if I thought my throat was closing up and then of course I did. So she offered to take me to the emergency room. I said not yet, just rub my back. Then I calmed down. But I still felt nauseous and I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin. So I laid on her bed for a while and tried to let her get back to sleep but I didn't want to leave because I wanted to be able to wake her up if I started to suffocate. I have a fear of dying alone and nobody finding me... like that guy in Trainspotting who died of Toxoplasmosis.
After a couple hours of not sleeping, I thought it best to resume my normal anxiety attack position of sleeping in the living room with the TV on. The TV distracts me from my own scary thoughts and helps me sleep. So I got like 4 hours of sleep and then everything was fine.
We decided that the initial "insect bite" was actually a pinched nerve from sitting in a wierd position at the computer. That explains the cold feeling going up my leg too. The other stuff was my overactive imagination jumping to conclusions.
But that's not the interesting part.
The WIERD thing is that around the time I was upstairs in my mom's room, someone was breaking into our car. Apparently that night several cars on our block were broken into and one was even stolen. The perpetrators mostly rummaged through the cars looking for money/valuables so for us there was just a bit of a mess to clean up in the driveway. They didn't even touch my car it's such a mess.
So was my anxiety related to the fact that there were people just outside rummaging through our cars? or is it just a coincidence?
Something interesting and noteworthy. Just after that blog about the cricket and how I thought I had been bitten by something, I had a wierd panic attack. I thought I felt poisonous venom shooting up through my leg and into my arm and then my neck got all stiff. So I went looking for benadryl because I figured that would counteract the allergic reaction to the poisonous venom and keep my throat from closing and thus dying.
So I went puttering around the house, and then started searching frantically as I convinced myself that even though it didn't look swollen my foot was definitely numb. So I went upstairs, and of course woke up my mom with all the rummaging for medication. I felt kinda dumb but I told her that I thought I was dying from an insect bite from an invisible insect. So she took my pulse and it was racing. And I showed her my clammy hands. I thought I had a fever but she told me I was cold. I was perspiring between my toes I was so worked up. She asked if I thought my throat was closing up and then of course I did. So she offered to take me to the emergency room. I said not yet, just rub my back. Then I calmed down. But I still felt nauseous and I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin. So I laid on her bed for a while and tried to let her get back to sleep but I didn't want to leave because I wanted to be able to wake her up if I started to suffocate. I have a fear of dying alone and nobody finding me... like that guy in Trainspotting who died of Toxoplasmosis.
After a couple hours of not sleeping, I thought it best to resume my normal anxiety attack position of sleeping in the living room with the TV on. The TV distracts me from my own scary thoughts and helps me sleep. So I got like 4 hours of sleep and then everything was fine.
We decided that the initial "insect bite" was actually a pinched nerve from sitting in a wierd position at the computer. That explains the cold feeling going up my leg too. The other stuff was my overactive imagination jumping to conclusions.
But that's not the interesting part.
The WIERD thing is that around the time I was upstairs in my mom's room, someone was breaking into our car. Apparently that night several cars on our block were broken into and one was even stolen. The perpetrators mostly rummaged through the cars looking for money/valuables so for us there was just a bit of a mess to clean up in the driveway. They didn't even touch my car it's such a mess.
So was my anxiety related to the fact that there were people just outside rummaging through our cars? or is it just a coincidence?
posted by Meegs @ 11/24/2004 09:16:00 AM
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